Facebook Dad

Facebook for Parents - class summary

2011-10-19T16:18:00.000-04:00

We had a great group of parents at our most recent "Facebook for Parents" class!

The group was a cross-section of people with varying technical experience. Some had younger children and were preparing themselves for the inevitable day when the kids joined Facebook. Some parents had college age kids who set up their Facebook accounts for them, in order to stay in touch. And a few were already experienced in the tool, and just wanted to learn more.

A few revelations that occurred for the attendees during the class include:

There is nothing preventing one of your Facebook friends from uploading ANY picture, and tagging it with your name. Our attendees now know how to update their privacy settings to ensure each photo that they get tagged in is approved by them before it is made public.
There is the ability to delete posts, but once they are out there, there is absolutely no way to guarantee that a Facebook friend has already seen it, and shared it with their friends.
The only required fields for signing up for a Facebook account is an email and a birth date. Kids do not have to fill out every single field in their profile, and parents probably shouldn't let them! We talked about the specific fields that should always stay blank.
There is no check to confirm that the email address corresponds to the name on the account. All the more reason for parents to 'claim their space' on Facebook, even if they don't use it now, to prevent someone else from taking it.

Here were the slides that were used in the course. These only show each topic at a high level, it is within the class that we go into each one in detail.

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Facebook for Parents

View more presentations from mmurtha.

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Another session of "Facebook for Parents" will be held in the spring, through the Mechanicsburg PA Recreation office; information will be published soon.

But if you know of a group that would benefit from such a class, please contact me and I can hold a session just for your group! Potential beneficiaries of this class could be church groups, PTO meetings, or other similar gatherings.

Looking forward to sharing more info to help parents!

Parenting the Facebook Generation

2011-09-23T22:36:00.000-04:00

On September 14, Harrisburg University of Science and Technology held “Social Media Summit 2011”, a gathering of great minds and perspectives on all things related to Social Media. The organizers of the event were clear to point out that they did not want to offer topics that were found everywhere else, and they certainly succeeded on that front! Among the many sessions was the topic of “Parenting the Facebook Generation”, a session full of useful tips, interesting facts, and heartfelt stories.

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First to speak was Linda Fogg Phillips, a mother of eight (!) and the author of Facebook for Parents, Answers to the Top 25 Questions. She was also commissioned by Facebook to be the lead author for their Facebook for Educators Guide, so she certainly knows her stuff. Linda shared personal anecdotes about how she dealt with technology issues within her own family, and also provided her perspective, not necessarily about “how to use Facebook”, but rather “how to think about Facebook” as part of all the tools that parents have at their disposal. A key point that Linda made; kids often equate their Facebook presence to their own personal bedroom, but it is much more like the front lawn; the neighbors all know what you’re up to, and what you do reflects upon the rest of your family.

Next up was Dr. Simon Casey, an emotions expert, therapist, and health care consultant. He brought the topic of Cyber Bulling to light for the participants. Dr. Casey provided the characteristics of both the bully and the victim, to help to better identify issues before they fester.

Did you ever wonder who is ‘out there’ monitoring online chat sessions on kid-focused web sites? Well it’s Izzy Neis on the other side of the screen, keeping unruly kids in line, identifying trends, and even occasionally finding the troubled child who is sharing their pain online. Izzy is the VP of User Engagement at kids’ social media platform Everloop. She is doing God’s work out there helping to keep kids safe, but I don’t know how she doesn’t have nightmares every night, based on some of the stories she told! Facebook and similar sites are now the recess playground of days past, and it should be treated as such by parents. She shared the types of behaviors she tends to see online and categorized them from the innocuous stuff, to the downright dangerous, and how they handle them as online network managers.

Finally it was Dr. Alfred Mueller, Professor and Chair of the Department of Communication Studies at Mount St. Mary’s University in Emmitsburg, MD. Dr. Mueller shared a personal story of her daughter being bullied, both online and in person, and the steps that he took (and all parents should follow) to correct the situation. He was very clear to say that ignoring the problem online (i.e. unfriending the offenders) will not

make them go away, and could just make it worse!

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If this summary interests you, then check out the video replay of the entire session.

While much of the rest of the Social Media Summit focused on business uses of these tools, this session was special in that it focused on a much more important topic, our children. The next Social Media Summit is set for Wednesday, May 23, 2012. The 2012 event is set to coincide with "National Social Media Day" events underway around the nation. Take advantage of this FREE event to build your knowledge of social media topics!

"Facebook for Parents" class!

2011-09-13T19:23:00.000-04:00

For those of you in the Central PA area:

Are your kids friending, tweeting and blogging? Do you have no idea what this means? With great power - the Internet - comes great responsibility - as a parent! Learn how information in Facebook is shared, what you have control over, and how you can make it a better experience for your kids and your family. Also learn about other social networking tools and trends, with the goals of keeping up with, keeping an eye on, and encouraging more communication with your kids.

"Facebook for Parents" is a 90 minute course offered through the Mechanicsburg Recreation Department. The class will be on Tuesday October 18 at 7pm.

Click here to register!

Only $9.00 for early registration for residents in the school district, $14 for non-residents. Prices go up the longer you wait..

I'm sure you know someone who would benefit from this course, please pass it along!

This guy is my hero

2011-06-06T18:37:00.002-04:00

My folks waved at me at the bus stop from time to time, just to embarrass me, but nothing like this guy!

Dale Price stands on his front porch every day to wave at his son on the bus, but in costume each time! Check out his blog at Wave at the Bus to see every day of the school year!

There is a whole writeup on Yahoo News - I suspect his popularity will only increase from here!

Top 10 Privacy Settings to check in Facebook

2011-03-25T12:10:00.008-04:00

There are a lot of privacy and security settings available in Facebook, and the full list can be a bit confusing. So to help you focus on the most critical items, here is a Top 10 list of settings to check (on your account, and on your kids' accounts!) in Facebook:

1) Make sure your full birthday is not publicly displayed (Home / Edit My Profile) - Sure, we all enjoy getting a pile of birthday wishes on our big day, but those less scrupulous out there can use this information against you to steal your identity! If you definitely want your birthday known, at least exclude the year from your Profile:

2) Make sure your home address is not entered in their profile (Home / Edit My Profile / Contact Information) - there is no need to enter your physical address into Facebook; you (and your kids) should just leave this blank:

3) See what applications you have granted access to (Accounts / Privacy Settings / Apps and Websites) - any time you go to another website that allows you to log in with your Facebook ID/password, you have granted the ability for that application to gain access to your data (and that of your friends) in Facebook. In many cases this is just fine, but it's good to know what is out there:

4) Validate the location-based settings (Privacy Settings / Customize Settings) - Location based applications are all the rage now, but just be aware that when the world knows you're at the ball game right now, they also know your house is empty. Use with caution!

5) Google your kids' presence on Facebook - a simple search will help show what information in Facebook is available to the public, and not just to those who are set up as your Friends:

6) Check for any Events your kids have set up, to ensure they are not set as Public, and that your personal information is not listed. Also check events that they have replied to (Home / Events) - Another reason to make sure your home address is not public, and also to ensure that small gathering your son wanted doesn't turn into the entire high school showing up at your house...

7) Closely examine the “Things Others Share” section of the Privacy Settings (Account / Privacy Settings / Customize Settings) - Even if you tighten up all your settings, your Friends still have some authority to share your information. Tighten that up as well!

8) Check what your friends can share about you through applications (Account / Privacy Settings / Applications and Websites) - Another example of keeping some control over your own information, rather than leaving that up to the others in your network.

9) Get notifications when specific updates occur (Account / Account Settings / Notifications) - play around with the settings here if you end up getting inundated with emails.. Sadly there is no parental level notifications in Facebook, the emails get sent to the address of the account, so if you child has a Facebook account, the notifications go to his email.

10) Limit who can see tagged photos (Account / Privacy Settings / Customize Settings) - Pick one of your friends and go through their Friend list - some will let you see their pictures (Friends of Friends setting) and some will not (Friends Only setting). Use this to decide how you want your privacy level to be.

Facebook continues to modify their privacy features; check these occasionally to ensure you and your family are only sharing what you want to share!

Facebook for Parents- classes in Harrisburg and Gettysburg

2011-03-24T14:15:00.001-04:00

Now "Facebook for Parents" will be offered through the Continuing Education arm of Harrisburg Area Community College (HACC)!

Two dates are on the calendar:
Wednesday April 20th - Harrisburg
Tuesday May 24th - Gettysburg

Click here to find out more and to register!

"Facebook for Parents" classes scheduled!

2010-12-14T07:04:00.000-05:00

Trying to keep up with your kids online? Do you (or someone you know!) need a roadmap to help you out? Take a look at the 'Facebook for Parents' class that will be offered locally in the near future:

With great power - Facebook - comes great responsibility - as a parent! Learn how information technology is shared, what you have control over, and how you can make it a better experience for your kids and your family.

Carlisle, PA:
Thursday, January 20th, 6:30-8:30pm
CyberSpace Computer Resource Center
219 North Pitt Street, Carlisle
Check out all of their offerings at their web site: http://www.carlislepa.org/ .
You can sign up online at: http://activenet14.active.com/carlislerec/ .

Mechanicsburg, PA:
Thursday March 24, 7:00-8:30pm
Mechanicsburg Middle School, room 158
1720 S. Market St, Mechanicsburg
Check out all their offerings at their web site: http://www.mbgsd.org/recreation .
You can sign up online at: http://activenet10.active.com/mechareaparkrec/ .

Slots are already filling up, so don't delay! Signing up is easy, just follow the links above. Can't make these dates? Not to worry, more classes will be coming in May!

Do you have a group that would be interested in a personalized class? Contact me! If you have a location with Internet access, I can hold a special session just for your group! Some examples of groups that would benefit:

Church groups
Red Hat Society
Play Date groups
School PTO meetings
And more!

Hope to see you in class!

Facebook impersonations at the AT&Tstore

2010-11-23T15:46:00.000-05:00

So we were at the AT&T store the other day looking at cell phones, playing around with all the phones on display along the wall. Now they are all fully functional phones, to really give you a good feel for how they operate. So being the immature one that I am, I pick up one of the phones and start texting and calling my wife, who is on the other side of the store. Hilarious, I tell you.

Anyway, I look further, and I start to poke around at the web access features on the phones. Turns out a lot of them have a Facebook app installed, and wouldn't you know it, on the first one I pick up, the phone is already logged in to someone's Facebook account.

The logged on user is a local high school kid, based on his profile info. I can see all his friends, what they're up to, and basically I had the power to post to his wall posing as him!

My mind raced with numerous clever, cruel, witty, or devastating things I could have posted... But I took the high road, maybe because my conscience got to me, or maybe because I thought about what I'd want someone else to do if it were my kid's profile... So his post looked something like this:

"Uh, I logged on to my Facebook at the AT&T Store and didn't log off, and now some stranger can see my entire life story..."

Share, and Logout.

Now we can debate about the amount of information to post online, what security settings to use, and so on; but I think it's pretty clear that Rule Number One should be: Do not log on to personal sites on a public machine, and leave it logged on when you leave. Really guys? This kind of stuff is why parents freak out about their kids being online...

Facebook Dad Web Roundup

2010-10-15T12:42:00.005-04:00

Some funny stuff, some items to make you think, and some that are just ridiculous; it's this week's Facebook Dad web roundup!

So your Mom found Facebook? Protect yourself with the 'Damn it, My Mom is on Facebook Filter' courtesy of Saturday Night Live:

Worried about kids getting bullied online? Well adults can be bullies too; check out this repulsive neighbor cyber-bullying a 7 year old girl dying of a genetic disease:

Goo-goo-google! Reports say that 81 percent of 2 year olds have a presence online, and many parents are putting info about their kids online even while they are still in utero!

For anyone with kids, you know you can't tag them in photos in Facebook unless they have a Facebook page of their own. Well Facebook is fixing the 'can't tag your baby' issue… Why now? Well because Facebook execs are growing up and having kids of their own; they now understand the dilemma!

And finally, what was this one thinking? The story of the Duke University student who wrote a mock 'thesis' about her male conquests and posted it online; naming names and ranking them!

Enjoy and share!

You can tell us anything.

2010-10-03T22:09:00.000-04:00

My old alma mater was in the news this past week, but not in a way that anyone wants. Tyler Clementi, a Rutgers University student, after having his private encounters unknowingly filmed and subsequently broadcast via various social networks, committed suicide by jumping off the George Washington Bridge in New York.

He used the same technology that was used to humiliate and devastate him, to declare his final act; his final Facebook status simply stated:

jumping off the gw bridge sorry

There are so many sides to this story; privacy issues, improper use of technology, hate crimes, and more. But I felt compelled to chime in on one aspect of this story. To anyone who is holding back important information, because you are fearful of Mom and Dad's reaction, this message is for you, from all parents:

You can tell us anything. No matter how horrible, no matter how much you think it will hurt, no matter what.

Now we parents are certainly not perfect, and the discussion may not be an easy one

We may nag you ask 'how can you do this to us?'
We may show you disappointment.
We may get enraged and say cruel things.

But, we will get over it. And we will continue to love you.

Sometimes when you're just sitting there in front of your laptop, it's easy to forget that all those connections you have are real people, real friends. The word 'friend' has lost some value these days, but remember, a friend wants to help you, and will understand whatever you are going through. And some things are better communicated without a keyboard.

Isolating yourself behind a screen just puts more layers between you and the ultimate solution to your problem.

The university has already taken large steps to address this event, and this is commendable. However it does not get to the crux of this issue; if Tyler felt comfortable telling his family about his feelings, there may have not been the resulting feelings of humiliation and despair that led to his unfortunate decision.

Just tell us. We will understand.

Facebook Dad web roundup

2010-09-22T12:16:00.005-04:00

Thank you to all of you who attended my "Facebook for Parents" class! There is another session scheduled for October 7; click here to access the course list and just search the course listing!

"Uh, Mom, I think we'll need some more cake…" A 14-year old's party is cancelled after 21,000 people RSVP on Facebook.

Kids at college, and you’re still in their business? Cut the cord! Some info about the 'digitally connected parent'.

They sure don't hesitate to contact me when the semester bill is due, but apparently, by law a parent can not be given info about their college student's activities/grades/etc without the student's consent.

Is it just me, or are most TV dads complete idiots? Here's a retrospective of TV's best dads, courtesy of "The Art of Manliness".

Here's an intriguing & inspiring new book from Emily Liebert - "Facebook Fairytales"!

"Facebook for Parents" course available!

2010-09-07T19:09:00.005-04:00

For those of you in the Central PA area:

Are your kids friending, tweeting and blogging? Do you have no idea what this means? With great power - the Internet - comes great responsibility - as a parent! Learn how information in Facebook is shared, what you have control over, and how you can make it a better experience for your kids and your family. Also learn about other social networking tools and trends, with the goals of keeping up with, keeping an eye on, and encouraging more communication with your kids.

"Facebook for Parents" is a 90 minute course offered through the Mechanicsburg PA Recreation Department. Sessions are available on either Wednesday September 22, or Thursday October 7. Read more at the Mechanicsburg Recreation site, or register online here; select Activities and search for the keyword of "Facebook".

Only $9.00 for early registration for residents in the school district, $14 for non-residents. A bargain! I'm sure you know someone who would benefit from this course, please pass it along!

Face-to-Face Book

2010-09-01T12:20:00.001-04:00

Welcome to all of you who found Facebook Dad from the "Parting Glance" article in Central Penn Parent. I'm proud to say that article was my first published work (aside from this self-published site of course…), but hopefully not my last.

Go ahead and check out the story on Central Penn Parent if you haven't already… Here is some additional background on what's happened since then:

The girl and I eventually came to a truce regarding her text messaging. I will use the expression that 'she threw money at the problem'… I argued that I wasn't going to keep paying for text messaging if she couldn't control her usage, and she made a compelling counter-argument to pay for it herself. The hitch of course was that then I would have much less of a leg to stand on when it came to arguing about it.

So I'd say it's a win-win all around! She hears no more bickering from me about her text messaging, and I get a few bucks a month from her as 'hush money' (is that term too strong?). To be honest, those dollars go straight into the vacation fund, so she gets it back anyway, although in a different format…

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While you're here, please take a look around; feel free to comment on prior postings, 'like' our Facebook page, and add Facebook Dad to your RSS feeds. Enjoy!

Father's Day and Technology

2010-06-21T20:54:00.018-04:00

I didn’t think I would have any profound Father's Day words of wisdom to post; after all, the intent of Father's Day, even as the fabricated 'Hallmark holiday' that it is, is to spend personal time with said paternal unit, not blog about it. But a few things happened over the weekend that changed that…

So the boy is off at camp for two weeks, and they certainly keep them busy enough that they don't have time or access to the typical teenager technology. Not that it matters too much, he is not as enamored with it as most others in his demographic, but still, it's two weeks of a reduced technology diet.

So late on Saturday night, the phone rings. The time on the clock is in the 'who died?' range, if you know what I mean. And here's the boy on the other end of the line. "So, Dad… I was just checking... so when is Father's Day anyway?" Tomorrow, I tell him. Well, almost today, based on the time... "Oh, OK. So I guess I'm just calling to say Happy Father's Day early!"

So now it's Sunday and we're in the car to visit the family, and my cell phone buzzes. Ugh, work is calling… No, it's a text message. The only one who usually sends me a text is sitting in the back seat behind me. So I look down and here's what I see:

happy fathers day!!

My son was able to sneak away and get back to his phone to send me those three words. That little gesture definitely put a smile on my face. And I certainly know lots of fathers who would react the same way that I did.

Is it because I'm an admitted technology nerd? I have no problem letting my geek flag fly… Is it more of statement of dads versus moms? Or is it a generational thing? One may never know, but what I do know is that these 'toys' that the kids use are actually an extraordinary way to bring us closer together.

Over the weekend, some old friends posted pictures on Facebook of themselves with their dad over the weekend; definitely brought back memories, and also made it apparent how much some of them have grown to look alike! Others wrote public declarations to their dad on Facebook or Twtter, letting the world know their feelings. And still others used this forum to say how much they missed their recently departed fathers.

While the 'old school' folks may resist for a while, it's apparent that social networking tools have already grown from 'basement of the science building' novelty, to kid's toy, to work utility, to eventually a family bonding tool.

These social technologies that are often derided as annoyances, distractions or worse, are actually amazing tools, and they can be used to help bring people - including fathers and sons - closer together. And I'm a big fan of that.

PS - I miss you Dad. Even though you would literally unplug the one and only computer at your office when it wasn't doing what you wanted it to do, I think you would have eventually learned to like it...

e-Book: Facebook and Kids - Year by Year

2010-06-10T20:45:00.016-04:00

Coming soon: an e-Book on the challenges that parents will encounter with Facebook as their kids grow. Working title is "Facebook and Kids - Year by Year". The draft table of contents is as follows:

Age 12: Just Wait
Age 13: Trust But Verify
Age 14: It’s a Tool, Not a Toy
Age 15: The Internet is Forever
Age 16: Their Pages Reflect On You
Age 17: Colleges are Looking
Age 18: Keep In Touch
Age 19: Expand the Definition of Friends
Age 20: Networking for a Career
Age 21: Let Go

Now your experience may only be at the low end of this age range, but you may know of others who would benefit from the tips for older kids. Please forward/like/share/tweet/etc. to others who you think would benefit, or who could add more insight.

What other areas should be covered? Let's hear your thoughts in the comments!

The (Friend) List is Life...

2010-05-11T22:42:00.009-04:00

OK, the title is a little over-dramatic, but it got your attention… Class, today's lesson is on Friend Lists in Facebook…

So your kid's getting older, starting to become more independent, and is generally embarrassed by your presence. (If he's not embarrassed by you, are you really doing your job?) You want to keep an eye on what he's up to online, despite his reluctance to let you see everything in his world… Being connected to him on Facebook has the same allure of you yelling out "Hi sweetie!" to him at the bus stop, But there is a middle ground where you can be connected while still giving him a semblance of freedom, and that is done by Facebook Lists.

Scenario 1: your kid is an active Facebook user, but between all the updates from Farmville, Sorority Life and Mafia Wars, you barely see what's happening in her real life. (Don't know what Farmville is? Count your blessings!)

Scenario 2: the kid just went off to college, and he feels really awkward when he knows you're seeing Wall updates about the big party at the Lacrosse House.

Scenario 3: you just found a shoebox full of baby pictures of your darling little offspring, and you want to share them with the world. However doing so would result in your child experiencing a state of embarrassment not seen since you screamed his name at the middle school awards banquet.

So how do you handle these situations? With a Friend list! This is simply a subset of your friends, grouped by a common theme that you choose.

In Scenario 1, where you want to rid yourself of Farmville crops: Have your kid set up a Friend List called 'Games', or something like that, and have her put all the friends who care about that nonsense in there. Then when she makes updates, she can choose to only have that friend list be notified.

For Scenario 2, where you're being blocked out completely because the college kid doesn't want to share too much; have him set up a Friend List called 'Family', and put all the relatives in there. Then when he has something appropriate to share ('have a job interview tomorrow'), the you can get that update, while the other stuff ('exhausted from being out 'til 4:30 in the morning') can stay on campus.

And in Scenario 3, where you are dying to get those baby pictures on line, this time it's you who should create the 'Family' friend list. When you create the photo album, make it available only to Family, so his other classmates won't get that shot of him sitting on the potty at age 2.

Facebook Help goes through this in detail, but it's pretty simple:

Select the "Friends" menu item on the left, and on the Friends page, you will see a button named "Create a List".

A popup window will appear with all your friends listed. Enter the name that you want to give to the list (ex: Family), then simply select the friends that you want to be in that list. Click 'Create List' and you're done!

Now when you post updates, click on the little padlock icon beside the Share button, and select "Customize". From here you can either share this posting with a subset of your friends, by selecting the appropriate list.

Using Friend Lists will let you (and your kids) get the most out of Facebook. Don't be afraid to customize Facebook to fit your needs!

Other ideas on how to use Lists to your advantage? Let's hear about them in the comments!

"I'm majoring in Facebook, with a minor in Twitter…"

2010-04-12T19:13:00.003-04:00

We have all heard the expression: "Do what you love, and the money will follow…" And I'm sure you have also heard something like: "How's spending all day Facebook going to help you get a job?" (But the big question is: were you making these statements or hearing them?) Well, these two differing views of the world are now starting to merge… An entire career category of Social Media is beginning to appear on the job landscape.

Just a simple search on the job boards show that this career path is alive and kicking. So other than by 'self-training', (i.e. spending all day on Facebook) how does one prepare for such a career? Well have no fear, colleges and universities are stepping up to fill this gap.

College level courses are being developed, usually as a joint venture between Computer Science and Communications departments, merging multiple disciplines, including ideas from Business Management, Marketing and other backgrounds. Rutgers University has started a graduate level course called "Understanding and Building Social Media". Michigan State has established a core set of courses, that touch upon aspects of Journalism, Computer Science, and more. Even Stanford has a course on Creating Persuasive Facebook Apps.

For those who feel "work" is a four-letter word (i.e. your parents?), the idea of a career in Social Media may strike some people as less than a 'real job'. But make no mistake, these jobs are out there, and they are in high demand! Part tech support, part public relations, and part psychology, it can be a great career choice for a well rounded student!

Blocking Facebook from your kids? Good luck...

2010-03-31T07:26:00.000-04:00

Parents: the whole world is conspiring against you: Check out these items posted on Yahoo! Answers... First is a 13 year old who is not allowed to have a Facebook account, and the next is another youngster whose parents blocked Facebook on their PC, looking for a way to circumvent it.

No longer just confined to the ideas from the other guys at the lunch table, these kids now have the entire globe at their disposal when they want to try to get around their parents' wishes.

And some of the responses? Everything from detailed technical tips and tricks (proxies, safe mode, etc.) to outright encouragements of defiance (just set up an account in secret; why did you even ask?)

Not suggesting that your actions as a parent are futile, but it's just a reminder that it's a bigger battle than just between you and your offspring. Fight the good fight!

Your online identity hijacked - by your kids?

2010-03-16T08:27:00.001-04:00

Yesterday on msnbc's "Morning Joe", host Mika Brzezinski made a comment about goings-on at her house this weekend… Apparently her daughter hijacked her Twitter account, in an attempt to --wait for it-- contact teenybopper singer Justin Beiber. To use a generational comparison, it would be like Walter Cronkite's kid sneaking on the set of CBS News, putting on horn-rimmed glasses and mustache, and saying "uh, Paul McCartney, if you're watching, please give me a call, I have some, uh, important things to discuss with you"'…

So if you've been reading this site, you hopefully have your own accounts on Facebook, Twitter, etc, in order to keep up with your kids. But is your online presence accessible to them? I'm guessing that Mika's kids didn’t hack into her account, it's much more likely that she stays logged in to her various social media sites.

If you are like most people, you set most web sites to "remember" you, so you don't have to enter your password every time you access it. It's a hassle to have to enter passwords every time, remember the different IDs on each site, etc. Generally this is accomplished by putting what is called a 'cookie' on your PC, which contains data about you and your relationship to that site; ID, password, preferences, etc.

However you may want to think about this… Even if you don't have worries about your kids infiltrating your online world, it is also something to consider if, for example, your laptop is stolen. Not just Facebook and Twitter, what about your Amazon account where your credit card information is stored? Your online banking? And so on... Cookies are not necessarily malicious, but it does but your personal information a little more at risk.

Of course, this should not work both ways; just because the kids can't access your accounts, that doesn't mean the same works in the opposite direction! If the kid is still under your roof, you should expect (Insist! Demand!) that you have the passwords to their online accounts. I wouldn't log in every day and reprimand them on their grammar usage, but it's just important to have that access if necessary.

Mika Brzezinski has around 17,000 followers on her Twitter feed (and Justin Bieber has 1.7 million!), so perhaps if your son or daughter posted to your Twitter account, it may not have such the global reach; however, it's just important to control your online image!

Reunions: does Facebook help or hinder?

2010-03-10T19:22:00.002-05:00

I've been getting communications recently about Reunion Weekend at my college alma mater. I'm coming up on one of those milestone years (20!), so there is a bit more activity surrounding this year's festivities. (Twenty years!?! Feels like yesterday sometimes...)

I have kept in touch just a small number of close friends out of college. High school? Forget it. Even a few years out of high school I was only in touch with a few friends. And one of them put it best: "If I want to see anyone from high school, I'll call to have a pizza delivered…" (Needless to say he didn't have a very high opinion of high school…) But things changed recently…

Once the kids were on Facebook and I followed suit, a bunch of fellow high school alumni found me. That's what happens when you list your high school and college graduation years!

But now I look at my kids; one recently graduated high school, and I'm sure her list of Facebook friends includes over a hundred high school classmates. Some she hasn't seen since graduation day, but she can still see what they're all up to. So when the '5 Year Reunion' time comes around for her, will it even pique her interest? After all, the word 'reunion' is a form of 'reunite', but how can can reunite when you never lost touch?

There are two schools of thought on this (if you'll pardon the pun); some say Facebook makes it easier to track down alumni and seeing the 'preview' of your fellow classmates makes you more likely to want to attend the reunion. But the other side of the coin is that you can catch up with everyone you care to while sitting in front of your laptop; why make the effort to go?

What do you think? Do the Facebook connections to fellow alumni make you more or less likely to want to attend your reunion?

Talking with Strangers - it's not as creepy, thanks to Facebook

2010-01-22T19:51:00.005-05:00

So our little offspring is looking into a 'Study Abroad' program at college. Very cool! This came up in a conversation I was having at work, and it so happens that this colleague of mine has a grandson who is at her destination school right now. So he suggests that my daughter contact his grandson, to get some first-hand knowledge of the place. Simple enough, right? But think about it, this is really an attempt to make a 3rd degree connection: my daughter, to me, to my co-worker, to his grandson. How would you start this conversation? Isn't this a bit awkward? Even creepy, perhaps? "Uh, you don't know me, but…"

Well, the first thing my daughter did was to look him up on Facebook. In her words, she "Facebook stalked" him. Since they are not 'friends' in Facebook, she could only see a portion of his information -- some photos, basic demographic information, his interests -- but it was enough to help her feel comfortable enough to reach out and seek some information from him. The note started something like "I hear that my dad and you grandfather have been talking…", and it went from there. She now has a much better feeling about what she is signing up for, and if indeed she is accepted, there will be at least one familiar face on the ground when she gets there.

Even if a person is not your 'friend' in Facebook, all users are able to see a limited amount of information about you. According to Facebook's privacy policy, "Certain categories of information such as your name, profile photo, list of friends and pages you are a fan of, gender, geographic region, and networks you belong to are considered publicly available to everyone," In addition, the default privacy settings have other information defaulted as available to 'Everyone'. It's a good idea to review your privacy settings to see what others can see.

However, I'm bringing this up to flip some conventional wisdom on its head… The typical position preached to parents is to make sure their kids' Facebook profiles are completely locked down - don't let anyone see anything! Well if that were so in this case, my daughter would not have had access to that glimpse into this person's world, which helped break the ice on a conversation that will have a major impact on her college career. Don't hide yourself from the Facebook world, just be aware of what you're making available.

Facebook is just a tool. Just like a table saw can easily take your finger off, it can also make easy work of otherwise difficult tasks. Advise the kids to respect the tool that is Facebook, and it will serve them well!

You're being watched - with help from the kids

2010-01-12T22:28:00.002-05:00

So we were out and about running errands the other day, when I ran into an old friend and colleague of mine. Haven't seen him for years, but we just picked up where we left off all that time ago... So we're catching up when all of a sudden he says, "So I see the kids' Facebook pages, they sure are growing, aren't they? And I don't see your wife out there with a Facebook, what's up with that?

I guess I was a little taken aback, and before my brain caught up with my mouth, I heard myself say, "What, are you stalking me or something?!?".

I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, after all, the Facebook demographic is definitely trending older, but I guess it didn't register that distant contacts may still know everything I'm up to, or at least, everything I post on Facebook. Here was this guy, not one you would consider technically adept, but here he is keeping up on me & the family. Face it, Facebook is officially EVERYWHERE, and what you put out on it - or even the fact that you're not on it - says a lot about you.

But then I started thinking a little deeper; what do the kids have of ME out there on their pages? Do you know what your kids have on their pages of YOU? Look again at that picture from Christmas Day, with that glass of wine in your hand, and caught in a near-blink - you know what your condition was at that point, but what does it look like to everyone else?
I took this occasion to remind the kids about the pictures they post. Typically it's a straight dump of every snapshot on the camera; but instead I asked them, 'Does Mom know you put that picture of her out there?" "You may know 'Uncle Fred' was just dozing on the couch, but what does this scene look like if you didn't know the details?" And so on...

And in case you didn't know, you can indeed un-tag yourself from photos that other people put on Facebook...

Christmas cards or Facebook pokes?

2009-12-29T09:58:00.003-05:00

After a several year hiatus, we sent out some Christmas cards this year. No particular reason for not sending them in years past, just the typical excuses of not getting around to it, not getting pictures developed in time, feeling awkward sending them out in April, etc…

It seemed like we were getting fewer cards in the mail ourselves this year, and at first I attributed it to the lack of our reciprocation for the last few years. However, it seems to be a national trend. The Washington Post chronicles this movement in their 2009 Holiday Guide section, so now perhaps I don't feel so bad, hearing that it's not just us! But is it a sign of the current lackluster economy, or of a larger shift in behaviors?

Looking at my kids, and most anyone under 25 with a Facebook account, they probably have several hundred 'friends', who get updates from them on a regular basis, see photos of them within hours of the snapshots being taken, and probably know more about their day to day lives than I do about my own relatives. Gone are the days where your only communication from a far-flung friend is their annual Christmas card, with accompanying picture of the kids and of course the family newsletter. (Come to think of it, perhaps it's 'good riddance' to the family newsletter!)

Here are some revelations that come to mind:

- for some whom I've reconnected with from my high school or college days, I don't even have a physical address for them. So where does the Christmas card get mailed to? I can only imagine this is multiplied by ten for my daughter's list of friends.

- with other items previously sent via the US Postal Service (bills, catalogs, etc.) now being delivered by electronic means, will our kids even think to run to the mailbox in anticipation of a card, from someone who can tap on a cell phone and get a message into his or her back pocket almost instantly?

- and now there is even a 'green movement' backlash against the Christmas card, citing the waste of resources when the same message can be conveyed electronically with less impact. Ah, those idealist youths…

So what will the future hold for Christmas cards in a Facebook world? Hallmark seems to think they still have a viable business model, citing the 5 billion cards exchanged annually, which they coincidentally point is 17 times greater than the number of Facebook users (though it may be 16 times greater by the time you read this. Or 15. Or 14…)

Well here's how I see it. Just like the person who writes a hand written 'Thank You' note after a job interview stands out, so too will those who send out old fashioned Christmas cards. At a time where you can type a sentence and hit Send to hundreds of recipients in an flash, putting pen in hand will reinforce to your family and friends that you aren't just checking them off a holiday 'to do' list. And besides, printed emails taped around your doorways in place of Christmas cards just doesn't have that same festive look to it...

Home Alone - 2009 Edition

2009-12-22T09:39:00.004-05:00

Here's an article from the summer, but it's equally applicable now that everyone is heading away from home for the holidays... This article is an interesting view on how your online status can tip off potential criminals that your house will be empty...

Now perhaps you don't update Facebook or Twitter with your every move, but your kids might! Double check their status before you head out of town, and if they grumble about how 'it's not a big deal', perhaps you can come to a compromise; rather than posting when they are leaving, suggest that they post an update when they get back - 'Just got home from Christmas at Grandma's!'

A Ringing Endorsement

2009-09-20T23:26:00.005-04:00

"A Facebook class for parents? I'm not telling my parents about it..."
-- S. and K., college students

I don't think I could have asked for a better recommendation!

I will be teaching "Web 2.0 for Parents" in Mechanicsburg PA, on November 2 & 9.

Click here to register, or go to http://www.mbgsd.org/recreation and search for the "Web 2.0 for Parents" course.

[Update - this class is now complete!]

Not Their Parents' Online World

2009-09-20T23:18:00.003-04:00

This item from PBS shows the big differences between how parents and their kids use and see the Internet differently. While we grew up with the web as a place to 'get stuff', our kids are using is a place to 'put stuff'.

Not a bad thing, just different! It also goes into the 11 skills that kids will need, in order to use these new technologies to the fullest.

If you think this technological leap is big, just think back 20 years or so, where the Internet was only known by those guys in the basement of the science building (yes, that was me...).

WSJ: The Helicopter Parents Are Hovering on Facebook

2009-09-14T11:22:00.002-04:00

Being 'un-friended' by your own flesh and blood? This article in the Wall Street Journal tells the tale. OK, perhaps once your offspring is 25 years old as in this article, you can't force them to be your 'friend', but what about when they are 14 and living under your roof?

Is being locked out of your kid's Facebook page like being locked out of their room? Where should the line be drawn? Let's hear what you think in the Comments...

Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

2009-09-09T10:19:00.004-04:00

Very funny from The Onion - a segment on the ficticious "Today Now" show, where the resident 'E-Mom' shows you how she 'writes to her son Jeffrey five or six times per day', and can learn about his female friend 'just by the look of her trampy picture!'

A few profanities on the screen, be warned, but none in the audio. Enjoy!

"Web 2.0 for Parents" course now available!

2009-09-08T11:01:00.004-04:00

Attention parents! A new course is now available in central Pennsylvania for those of you who are trying to keep up with your kids and their Facebook escapades...

Are your kids blogging, tweeting, and friending? Do you have no idea what this means? With great power - the Internet - comes great responsibility - as a parent! Learn about all the social networking tools and trends, with the goals of keeping up with, keeping an eye on, and encouraging more communication with your kids.

Click here to register, or go to http://www.mbgsd.org/recreation and search for the "Web 2.0 for Parents" course.

[Update - this class is now complete!]

Welcome!

2009-09-03T14:29:00.002-04:00

Hello, and welcome to Facebook Dad... It's here where you will find information about social networking tools like Facebook, Twitter, YouTube etc, and how they relate to kids and parents - some good, and some not so good.

Check here for ideas on how to use these tools to better communicate with your kids, learn about current trends and issues, and more.

Hope you enjoy the site!